The Future of Phones and Sexual Predators
I have created a future in my head. I am sure you are going to like the idea. It has so many amazing benefits.
In the future, a person's nose will shine a bright red when they are talking on the phone with someone else. It is like an electric connection that is completed from both ends of the conversation. Two red noses.
I believe this will help to restore a small kink in social society.
Is that person talking to someone, or are they just crazy? Is this a fake conversation? Look at the nose. It will tell you. At Christmas time this is a big bonus because of all the extra lights, and the Rudolph thing too.
I know I know. Ladies are going to tell me they fake talking on the phone for safety precautions. I have already taken this into consideration. In the future that I have created, there is a cool phenomenon. This is what it is.
When any person starts thinking rapey thoughts, their head shines a bright yellow. Everybody can see it. We all know what they are thinking. If any person starts to act on rapey thoughts with a yellow head, they spontaneously combust. Problem solved.
They combust into a vapor and powder that a dog will usually come over and lick up. Like a human flavored Fun Dip. It is not the bloody mess you probably had in your mind while you read about them combusting. You are disgusting for even thinking that.
I know this has nothing to do with phones anymore. The phone part of the story is over. Our noses turn red, remember. This is an offshoot.
Let's say Rapey Randy was sitting at the bar trying to chat up a lady. Rapey Randy offers this lady a drink and she, sensing the vibe, refuses the drink and turns away.
Embarrassed, Rapey Randy exits the bar and decides to walk it off. He can just feel his head beginning to turn yellow. In this case, he can see the truth. It is the bright yellow light that is illuminating from his head.
Now, Rapey Randy has a choice here. It should be to go home, but if for some reason he doesn't and decides to act on his urges, he will spontaneously combust. Simple as that.
Do not worry about all the other logistics of this. It works.
Here is another offshoot.
A fun thing to look up in this future is "yellow head traps". This is where women will search out yellow heads and try to get them to combust on video. For this reason alone the Rapey Randy does not last that long. You can make a very good living getting Rapey Randy to combust. Nobody minds.
You can sometimes tell if your neighbor is rapey too because late at night you can see the light shine through the windows. We know what you are thinking over there. That is why Rapey Randy will have blackout blinds or no windows at all.
We have things a lot more together in the future I have created.